Happy World Breastfeeding Week! [Tandem Nursing Pictures]

In honor of world breastfeeding week I decided I would write a blog, so exciting, I know.  Breastfeeding for me has been a long and winding journey, when I gave birth to Lily over eight years ago I had no clue that formula wasn't "just as good" as breast milk and that coupled with excruciating pain from a bad latch or tongue tie our breastfeeding relationship was short and full of grief.

With Jonas I tried again, this time breastfeeding wasn't as painful and I was beginning to know more as a Mother and less willing to listen to good-intentioned advice from people that knew even less than me. But again, breastfeeding just wasn't easy and at that time in my life, attempting to sell a home and moving two young children off of an island and back to California, breastfeeding wasn't the priority I wish it would have been.

Fast forward a few more years and along comes Oliver Crash, my breastfeeding champion!  After Oliver's birth which was incredibly hard both physically and emotionally I began to question my choices as a Mother a little bit more which led me to the great big world of "crunchy" mamas.  Breastfeeding is truly a community effort at times and the love, care and understanding I got from other Mothers is what made me love breastfeeding.  I breastfed Oliver through my pregnancy with Tulip and when she was born I tandem nursed them for over a year.  I decided to wean Oliver at the age of 3, a hard decision but one that I felt right about.  I will forever be grateful for the nourishment and bond I was able to give him.

Little Miss Tulip Bea was born to nurse and our journey has been smooth and primarily easy so far!  For those of you that wonder or didn't know; breastfeeding is like most things in life, lots of good and some bad.  There will be tears, sleepless nights, bite marks on your nipples and a small hand down your shirt most of the time.  But, there will also be sleepy-milky smiles, endless snuggles, the ability to comfort and calm, the power to nourish.

I have been a formula-feeding Mom and I have been a breastfeeding Mom, neither of those define you as a Mother but I can guarantee that one of those will change you. <3

These pictures are courtesy of Lisa Hoang at Simply Baby Photography in Kailua, Hawaii.
I took these last year when Tulip was maybe 9 months and Oliver was 2 1/2.  The Hawaii government was looking for pictures of local looking Moms to use in a new pamphlet for breast pumps.  While I didn't get picked, maybe the green hair? It was still such an honor to be considered and I will forever have these beautiful pictures to remember such an amazing time.

Amber necklace from Half Moon Mothering. :) 

Lilyʻs "Deliciously Donut" 8th Birthday Sleepover [w/ Corn, Edamame & Black Bean Salad]

In our family we donʻt have birthdays.  No, weʻre more birthday week kind of people.  In a family of six I really enjoy being able to focus on one person and remember why they in particular are so special to our family unit.  Last week our oldest child turned eight.  I still canʻt believe it, I feel like Iʻm still in a little bit of shock.  Like I gave birth 8 years ago and forget everything up until today and how do I already have an eight year old? Breathe.

For Lilyʻs birthday she really wanted to have a sleepover with her best girl friends.  They had a blast playing dress-up, shrieking and running in circles and watching movies into all hours of the night.  Literally, all hours, I got the last one to sleep around 2am.  Mom life is hardcore sometimes.

The theme for her sleepover was Deliciously Donut!

Cake by Mom!  I used this awesome Wilton cake pan that can do any number or letter.

Happy Birthday to Me shirt from Childrenʻs Place via Noni of course! 

Chocolate Milk and Sprinkles for breakfast, what else could a little girl ask for?

Lilyʻs birthday "cake"! 

Happy Birthday Lily Pax!  You are loved. 

Teaching Daddy how to make a bracelet, her new favorite hobby. 

Pre-sleepover spaghetti dinner with friends!  

In addition to her birthday sleepover we had; cupcakes at the beach with friends (twice!), went to see the new Planes: Fire & Rescue movie and went to the annual Midsummerʻs Night Gleam at Fosterʻs Botanical garden.  All in all a great week to celebrate a rad little girl.

On the night we saw Planes we had dinner at a friendʻs house in Waikiki and since I had a random bunch of corn I decided to make this salad.  Super light, fresh, and fast it was great on a hot day.  I took the pictures before I added the cilantro but I really like the flavor with it included. 

Corn, Black Bean and Edamame Salad

2 ears of corn, cooked, with kernels cut off

1 can of black beans, rinsed

1 jalapeño, diced 

1 cup shelled edamame, cooked

1/4 cup cilantro leaves, chopped

For the vinaigrette:

2 limes, zest & juice

1/4 cup Apple Cider Vinegar

1/4 cup honey

1/4 cup olive oil

salt & pepper

• Combine corn, black beans, jalapeño and edamame in a large bowl.
• In a separate jar combine all ingredients for vinaigrette adding salt & pepper to taste,  mix dressing well and pour over salad ingredients. 
• Add fresh cilantro and toss to combine.
• Cover dish and refrigerate at least one hour.  

Whirlwind Woman [Happy Birthday Oreo Cake Batter Blondies!]

So, lately life has been a whirlwind.  I'm sure most people understand that.  Not enough time for anything, or just a little time for everything and nothing finished.  Kind of like how I clean the house, as I walk from room to room I stop and fold some laundry here, pick up some trash there, throw some toys in a bin over here.....the end result is nothing really being done.

But for now, I'm okay with that.  We recently decided as a family that I will be continuing my college education for oh, 6 more years or so.  The decision was daunting and it required a lot for me to realize that I will not, cannot be the Mom that does everything.  Taking a full college load, being a mother of 4 young children, working part-time in addition to being a wife, friend, and very sporadic blogger means I cannot do it all.  And on the worst days I can't do any of it.

I'm trying my best for now, to relax about it.  I have come to understand that my anxieties are not just my own but a burden on my family and also in direct relation to my trust in God.  If He has set me on this path I must trust that each day will take care of itself.  My laundry may never be completely done, my kid's might have unbrushed hair and unorganized rooms but ours hearts will be full.

So for now, while school takes priority over mopped floors and alphabetized blu-rays [yes, I do that.] I will do what I can.  And what I can do is make this awesome dessert in under 5 minutes.  Super easy. not healthy in the slightest, and my kid's loved them.  Hopefully when I've finished my Masters I'll look back at this time in our lives and be joyful about the things I let go.

Happy Birthday Oreo Cake Batter Blondies

• 1 box Yellow Cake Mix
• 15 Golden Happy Birthday Oreos, chopped. 
• 1/4 cup coconut oil
• 1/2 cup sprinkles
• 1/3 cup milk 
• 1 egg

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees and grease an 11x7 pan.
2. Combine cake mix, coconut oil, egg and sprinkles.
3. Slowly add milk and stir together, batter will be thick!  This is good. :)
4. Once combined fold in 3/4 of your chopped Oreos and 3/4 of your sprinkles.
5. Pour into the greased pan and sprinkle reserved Oreos and sprinkles on top.
6. Bake for 28 minutes until edges are slightly brown.
7. Remove from oven and let cool completely so blondies can set.
8. Enjoy! 

My 10 Happy Things. [Zucchini & Quinoa Stuffed Portabellos]

My 10 Things.

I love......[in no particular order.]

1.  My new home, for how much of a pain in the ass this move has become, no matter how much I bitch and complain about the process, what we still have to do, etc. I am SO excited to be in a bigger house and looking forward to all the memories we will be making here.

2.  Babywearing.  Something about it just makes me feel like a skilled parent, even tho I'm not the best at it.  The wraps are so pretty, Tulip loves it and I can get shit done.  Enough said.

3.  My husband.  Obviously this guy has to make the list, he is such an amazing Father and loving husband.  God knew what he was doing when I met this crazy kid.

4.  Workaholics.  It's just a good show.  I mean come on, have you seen the Ninja Turtles episode?!

5.  Leggings.  They're so comfy.  I know you're not supposed to wear them like pants but sometimes I do.  I mean a longer t-shirt, but still.  I know. 

6.  My kids.  My sweet flower girls.  My crazy boys.  These four little people have helped me grow so much, I am forever grateful for their love and patience with me everyday. 

7.  My church.  Be it small but mighty.  It's easy to be discouraged about the things you're not doing, but I'm hoping to remember the things we are.  

8.  Tattoos.  They're just so pretty. 

9.  The beach.  I love the beach so much more now, the smell of the ocean, the color of the water, sand in my toes and usually happy kids all around.  A day at the beach is always a good day.  Unless you get rained out with a newborn and than a homeless guy starts a fire in the rocks and runs away and fire men come and think it was your husband that started the fire.  Than it's just an ok day. 

10.  My new blog designer, Miss Tobie!  Be on the look out!  This space will be looking rad someday soon-ish.  But for now I'll keep working on my writing and getting yummy recipes out!  

Zucchini & Quinoa Stuffed Portabellos

1 lb. grass-fed ground beef

2 tbs. olive oil

5 Portabello Mushrooms

1 medium zucchini, diced

1 cup cooked quinoa

4 slices good cheese, optional

Salt

Pepper

1.  In a large skillet brown the ground beef with the olive oil. Season to taste with salt & pepper.

2.  Once meat is browned add the diced zucchini.

3.  Cook for 5 minutes and than stir in the quinoa, season again with salt & pepper.

4.  Scrape out the gills, the brown inside, of the mushrooms with a spoon.  

5.  Arrange cleaned mushrooms on a baking sheet.  Drizzle olive oil inside each cap, season with salt & pepper.

6. Fill each cap with a scoop of the beef mixture, dividing it equally between the 5 caps.

7.  Bake at 400 degreed for 10 minutes, top with cheese or panko crumbs if desired and bake an additional 5 minutes.

To make vegetarian/vegan:  Replace the ground beed with tofu or more veggies.

I'm also trying to figure out how to work Blogger a little better, especially in the aspect of adding pictures and the stories they tell.  I LOVE taking pictures, all the time, anytime, of anything and I really want to be able to go back through my blog one day and see the pictures and remember this time in our lives just because I know it moves so fast.  I'm trying to figure out the easiest way to do it but for now, they're here.  Pictures top to bottom: 

1.  Lily reading her new Junie B. Jones book under a slide at the park the other day.  She got the book from the tooth fairy the other day and is starting to love reading.  That makes me incredibly happy!

2.  A typical day for me.  I was on my second Nutella iced coffee of the day, taking a break from baking a Chocolate Banana Bundt Cake with a little munchkin tugging on me.  I'm pretty happy. 

3.  Oliver the Grouch.  Just look at it, you know. 

thankfultwenty. [Slow Cooker Beef&&Broccoli]

Nicole's Official Thankful 20.
It's the small things. :)

[Thankful for this crazy kid!] 

1.  Going pee BY MYSELF.  If this ever happens it's a miracle, a joyous miracle. A shower is even more awesome.

2.  When the Wii remotes actually have batteries.  This is a rare and elusive thing.  If they don't have working batteries I then try to rotate the same 6 batteries hoping some combo of 2 will magically work.

3.  Free stuff.  Anything free makes me pretty happy.  Things to do with the kids, free food, free baby-sitting.  I'll take it all.  And the best?  Free coffee of course.

4.  When you get a really good lock screen/wallpaper combo on your cellphone.  Yeah, that makes me happier than it probably should.

5.  Unsolicited advice.  I really love when a stranger tells me something I don't want to hear or care their opinion about.  Oh, the baby's too old to breastfeed?  You don't think my carrier is safe?  Actually that was a joke.  Please leave me alone.

6. Mom time.  I am so grateful to have such an awesome husband that is always encouraging me to take a little time for myself.  Trips to Target, coffee with a friend, a nap.  All awesome.  I love him so much for that.

7. The "ignore" button on my cell phone.  It's not that I'm trying to ignore you, I swear, I mean I acknowledged that you're calling me by hitting ignore. Right? ;)

8. Pacifiers!  Tulip is a pacifier baby, just like her big sister Lily.  Those little inventions have saved many a Mom [&Dad] hours of crying.

9. E-mail.  That way if I have something I need to say to you that's too formal to text but I'm really avoiding having to talk to you about than I can e-mail you!  Problem solved.

10.  Potlucks.  Cook one thing and you magically have a whole meal with lots of options!  Hopefully some of them are semi-decent.

[Thankful for my new Kitchen-Aid!  Thank you Mama!]

11. Coastal.com.  Free glasses?  Yes, please!  Without them I would be rocking 3 year old glasses with a super weak prescription or ripped contacts that I'm sure would be eating my eyes alive.
If you want a pair just use the code: FIRSTPAIRFREE  Your welcome!

12. Bobby pins.  Without them I would probably cut my bangs off in a fit of rage one day.

13. Group texts.  When I can't be with my best friends I can at least harass both of them via text about watching Magic Mike at noon on a Tuesday.

14. Airplanes.  Without them I would never get to see my extended family.  At least not without an 8 day boat ride.

15.  Pinterest.  I'm sorry I love it so much, I just do.  I have a rad shirt that says, "Keep Calm and Pin Something" I'm that cool.

16. Tom Hardy.  Especially in Lawless when he's wearing a cardigan.  Yeah, pretty much.

17. That I'm not in The Walking Dead and I don't have to listen to Andrea & Dale every minute of the day.  Two most annoying people EVER.  I hope the walkers get you!

18. Magic erasers.  Otherwise my kid's wouldn't get to use the walls as their own personal coloring pages.  Oh, there not supposed to do that?  Could have fooled me.

19. Cloth diapers. Thank you for saving us ridiculous amounts of money every month & covering cute butts in the process.

20. Breaking Dawn Part II.  Not because it was so good but because I can finally stop making Andy take me to see them and we can do something different for our anniversary than watch the world's most ridiculous love triangle made square.

I know this was supposed to be a Thanksgiving thing but I've been kind of grumpy lately.  Shit has been going wrong, life has been frustrating and hard but I need to remind myself there is SO much to be thankful for.  The big & the little.  Thank you God for it all. <3

And now I leave you with this tasty recipe for.....

Slow Cooker Beef & Broccoli 

1 cup Beef Broth

2 tbs. Sesame Oil

3 cloves garlic, chopped

1 lb. sirloin, cut into strips

1 16. oz. package Broccoli Florets

1/3 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup Soy Sauce

2 tbs. Corn Starch

White Rice for Serving

[1] In a bowl whisk together beef broth and cornstarch.  Pour into slow cooker.

[2] Add sesame oil, garlic, brown sugar & soy sauce to slow cooker.  Mix well.

[3] Add in sirloin.  Cover and cook on high 6 hours or low 8 hours.

[4] Add broccoli florets, mix and cook an additional 30-40 minutes depending 

on how done you like your broccoli! 

[5] Serve over steamed rice! 

Happy Little Placenta Pills. [Warning: Graphic! I guess?]

Here they are!  My magic little happy placenta pills.  

And now, here's how we made them.

But first, your probably wondering WHY a pretty much normal human being would choose to eat their own organ.  Because, I secretly want to be a cannibal and this is the only semi-socially acceptable way to do it.  Kidding.  

There are a ton of reasons:

* Instead of a synthetic drug they contain my OWN hormones.

* Naturally perfectly made for my baby, by me. 

* Replenishes depleted iron after giving birth.

* Helps increase milk supply.

* Lessens bleeding afterbirth. 

And my biggies....

* Helps with Post Partum Depression.

* Energy! 

After each baby I have struggled with PPD and every time I have gone to my doctor and they prescribe me some kind of pill that basically turns me into a zombie.  No thanks.  So I take them for awhile, feel weird and not myself, sure, not anxious either but....pretty much nothing.  Then I decide I hate feeling like that and stop taking them all together, which I've heard is a no-no.

When I heard about placenta encapsulation it just made sense to me?  Sometimes I struggle with my hippie self vs. my Catholic type self.  I'm a Republican.  I eat my placenta.  They just don't always seem to fit hand in hand.  But every once in awhile, in my mind they do.  In my quest to become a doula/midwife/placenta encapsulator it's always been so reassuring to me that women were created by God to do the job our bodies were made to do.  

My placenta fresh out of the womb!  

My awesome hubby doing all the dirty work, actually pretty much all the work while I sat and watched and cuddled my baby. :)  What he's stretching out is actually my water bag, where baby Tulip chilled for a good 9 months!  My midwife said I had a strong water bag which weirdly made me feel proud of myself.  

Taking off the membranes, their are two layers of them.

The darker spots are calcifications which happen when the placenta is trying to block things like chemicals in cleaners and smoke.  It's a pretty amazing organ! & no more painting houses while pregnant.....sorry placenta.  Things like alcohol pass through the placenta tho and go right to the baby.

Membranes off.  Feeling a little bit like Dexter. 

The family that encapsulates together, stays together!

The sliced placenta getting ready to be dehydrated!  We did the raw method with no extra herbs or spices cause I didn't know how they would react with my body and I just wanted the purest form possible.  After it was all dry we ground it up and put it into pills! I've been taking the pills since 3 days post partum and they have definitely helped with the energy & anxiety.  I'm really happy I got to do this with at least one of my babies and now I hope I get to help other Mamas experience the same thing!

Life is good. People are too.

So we've been trying to adjust, yet again, to our new schedules.  School is starting up again, well kind of.....we do year round schooling but now it's REALLY time to focus.  Plus the school supplies are on sale at Target and a general feeling of school-iness abounds.  Andy has officially been working his new job for over a month now, and we've kind of gotten into the groove of things.  

But in general life is pretty good.  We get to spend time together as a family!  Something that was missing for us for almost 2 years.  The differences are astounding and if I ever questioned moving back to Hawaii I don't anymore.  The first time we lived in Hawaii I had a huge problem with being homesick, I missed the people I had known and I couldn't quite make any connections that felt real here.  This time around I am just so surprised and grateful at the awesome people God is putting into our lives.

I am still struggling with my trust issues, which I've mentioned before, I've been deeply hurt by people I have trusted to never betray me and while that hurt is still there I think God is trying to show me the goodness in people.  It's so easy to see the bad, the negative, the people that use you, the back stabbers, the women that act like life is still high school, and while I know they're still there I hope that maybe I've gotten better at not letting myself be used and praying that God surrounds me with people that make my life better and hopefully I do the same for them. 

Women that I have just met that encourage me instead of compete & compare.

Fellow mothers, breastfeeders, home schoolers.

Fellow Christians, Crunchy Mamas, wives.

All helping to build one another up, congratulate on jobs well done and children well raised.

Maybe it's something in me that's changing or I've just gotten lucky but I am truly so thankful for the women I have been so blessed to be friends with.  From my best friends, an ocean away in California.[ One who I got to see yesterday!] Old friends that send me an encouraging word on Facebook or messages to ask how I'm doing. To new friends that I am just meeting that have an honesty about parenting, the ups & downs but also the joys & rewards.  Those people I can laugh with, enjoy an iced coffee and just talk without feeling like I need to be impressive, that I can just be myself flaws and all without being taken advantage of.

[One of my best friends. <3  Although we are far in miles we have gone through so much together in the short time we have been friends.  She is genuine and such an encouragement to me when times are hard.  She is proof of God's goodness in people and I am forever thankful that she is a part of my life.]

It's just something I have been so thankful for that I can't explain.  As much as I try to fight it, I need people.  I need someone to go on clearance Target runs with.  I need someone to read 50 Shades of Gray with me and then make fun of it.  We we're not meant to be alone and I am so excited for the new relationships God is putting in my life, just to prove to me once again, that I don't know it all, people are not all bad, and sometimes it's ok to trust. <3

[Also many thanks to my dear friend FranQueen from the 6th grade!  She re-did my blog for me and got it looking all spiffy & Chevron-ed up.  I <3 it.]

And since I'm too lazy to type up a recipe I'll just pass on the goods that I've been given lately and tell you to check out www.coastal.com.  

No, I'm not one of those cool blogs where people pay you to write or anything, so there's no gimmick here or anything.  Cause if I'm not cooking, baking, or cleaning I'm looking for ways to save money!

But seriously.  I've gotten 2 FREE pairs of glasses from them & I love them both!

And by free, really the glasses and frames were free and all I paid for was $16 for S&H [to Hawaii!] and insurance on each pair.  Just a good deal people, I'm not gonna lie. 

If you've never ordered from them before just put in the code FIRSTPAIRFREE at checkout.

You have to pick from certain pairs, obviously, but there are tons of styles to pick from.  

I have a horribly bad prescription too, like I'm legally blind without my glasses, and I don't even pay for any of the thinner lenses and my glasses STILL look good.  Damn!

I also friended them on Facebook which is how I got a code for another free pair.

So yeah, I'm basically set for life.

Go enjoy people.  Enjoy life.  Enjoy free things.

I know I do.

[My newest pair!  Nerd glasses. 

 I had almost this exact same pair in high school.  They were not so cool back then.] 

Why is she so happy?

In the past few weeks I've had two different people comment on how happy I look.  

One was a visiting Priest from Florida who talked to me after service and said "There's the happy drummer!" and the other was a new friend who's Mom had seen a picture I posted on Facebook and said to her "Your friend looks so happy!"

These should be compliments right?  So I don't know my first thought is embarrassment?  Why is it so bad for me to be happy?  To show how happy I am in my demeanor, the way I act and talk?  

It bothered me that I thought this and kind of worried me, my old habits tell me that happiness doesn't last, if you're too happy it's basically tempting fate to screw with you a bit and make sure it doesn't happen again.  

Maybe its a happiness I have finally found in God.  Its a lightness of burdens I don't have to carry anymore.  My instincts tell me I shouldn't be happy because not everyone is, but happiness takes work for sure, it is something given to us and I CHOOSE to be happy.  To see the good in my situation instead of the complaints.  To do what I need to do to make things better if they're bothering me.  

I choose to live a life thats low on funds but big on time.  

Time with my husband, time with my kids, time to learn, time to teach, time to birth babies, 

and even....sometimes.....time by myself!

That's not to say I never get depressed, angry or upset about things in my life. But I am trying to learn that I can be ok with being happy, that it doesn't mean that I think Im better than someone else.  My happiness is for myself and not to prove anything.  I have no reason to fake my emotions, no one to impress and I have found that living my life the way I feel God is calling me to just naturally makes me a happier person.  Less guilt.  Less anger.  Less wanting for things of this world.

More joy.  More peace.  More love.

And one day I hope, that one that I can't quite get a hold on yet....more forgiveness. 

We started working on a Character Building book with the kids during homeschooling and today's lesson was about being content.  I think a big part of being happy is simply being happy with what YOU have and not comparing it to what others have and what they need to be happy.

I have what I need to be happy.  It might be less than others, it might be more.  

But there should be no shame in happiness, hopefully soon I can believe that myself. <3

5 Simple Things That Make Me Happy

1.  Outside after it rains.

2.  New cleaning products, I bought some Bon Ami Citrus Thyme spray today. Woo-hoo!

3. Sleeping children.

4. A kiss from my husband.

5. My blog. 

And so of course, a recipe!  Food makes me happy.  Oh yes it does.  

Until recently I would consider myself a cook much more than a baker but the weight I am gaining this pregnancy proves that I eat more than enough of both food & baked goods!  

Creamy Polenta w/Mushroom & Sausage Ragu

and Roasted Asparagus

Polenta:

1 cup Polenta

1 cup milk

5 cups water

1/4 cup butter, cut into cubes

1/4 cup Heavy Cream

1/4 cup grated Parmesan

Salt to Taste

[1] Boil the water & milk.  When it comes to a boil add your polenta.

[2] Stay close!  Whisk your polenta, it will thicken quickly.  Reduce heat to medium-low.

[3] Keep whisking, allow Polenta to soak up liquids.  It doesn't need to be constantly stirred but keep an eye on it!  Do this for about 20 minutes.

[4] Once Polenta has absorbed all the moisture add your cream & butter.

Whisk for another 5 minutes.

[5] Add Parmesan & salt to taste.  Sooo creamy and good.  Tip: Not low calorie. ;)

Ragu:

1/2 jar of your favorite spaghetti sauce

2 mild Italian sausages, out of their cases

1 cup sliced Crimini mushrooms

1/4 cup Red Wine

Olive Oil

Salt to Taste

Crushed Red Pepper

[1] Take sausage out of their casings by cutting a slit down the side and squeezing the meat out.  Fun!

[2] Brown sausage in olive oil on medium heat.  Cook until sausage is fully cooked, break it apart with a spoon as you go.

[3] Add mushrooms to pan and let them brown.  I like a good golden color on my mushroom so use a decent sized pan so they don't just steam.

[4] Pour in your spaghetti sauce & red wine.  Reduce heat to medium-low and let simmer while you cook your polenta.

Roasted Asparagus:

1 lb. asparagus woody stems removed

Olive Oil

Salt & Pepper to taste

[1] Lay asparagus on a baking sheet.

[2] Drizzle with the olive oil and season with salt & pepper to taste.

[3] Cook in a 375 degree oven until doneness you prefer.  About 15-20 minutes.  

I like my tips charred but asparagus not too soggy.

Assemble & eat!