Life is good. People are too.

So we've been trying to adjust, yet again, to our new schedules.  School is starting up again, well kind of.....we do year round schooling but now it's REALLY time to focus.  Plus the school supplies are on sale at Target and a general feeling of school-iness abounds.  Andy has officially been working his new job for over a month now, and we've kind of gotten into the groove of things.  

But in general life is pretty good.  We get to spend time together as a family!  Something that was missing for us for almost 2 years.  The differences are astounding and if I ever questioned moving back to Hawaii I don't anymore.  The first time we lived in Hawaii I had a huge problem with being homesick, I missed the people I had known and I couldn't quite make any connections that felt real here.  This time around I am just so surprised and grateful at the awesome people God is putting into our lives.

I am still struggling with my trust issues, which I've mentioned before, I've been deeply hurt by people I have trusted to never betray me and while that hurt is still there I think God is trying to show me the goodness in people.  It's so easy to see the bad, the negative, the people that use you, the back stabbers, the women that act like life is still high school, and while I know they're still there I hope that maybe I've gotten better at not letting myself be used and praying that God surrounds me with people that make my life better and hopefully I do the same for them. 

Women that I have just met that encourage me instead of compete & compare.

Fellow mothers, breastfeeders, home schoolers.

Fellow Christians, Crunchy Mamas, wives.

All helping to build one another up, congratulate on jobs well done and children well raised.

Maybe it's something in me that's changing or I've just gotten lucky but I am truly so thankful for the women I have been so blessed to be friends with.  From my best friends, an ocean away in California.[ One who I got to see yesterday!] Old friends that send me an encouraging word on Facebook or messages to ask how I'm doing. To new friends that I am just meeting that have an honesty about parenting, the ups & downs but also the joys & rewards.  Those people I can laugh with, enjoy an iced coffee and just talk without feeling like I need to be impressive, that I can just be myself flaws and all without being taken advantage of.

[One of my best friends. <3  Although we are far in miles we have gone through so much together in the short time we have been friends.  She is genuine and such an encouragement to me when times are hard.  She is proof of God's goodness in people and I am forever thankful that she is a part of my life.]

It's just something I have been so thankful for that I can't explain.  As much as I try to fight it, I need people.  I need someone to go on clearance Target runs with.  I need someone to read 50 Shades of Gray with me and then make fun of it.  We we're not meant to be alone and I am so excited for the new relationships God is putting in my life, just to prove to me once again, that I don't know it all, people are not all bad, and sometimes it's ok to trust. <3

[Also many thanks to my dear friend FranQueen from the 6th grade!  She re-did my blog for me and got it looking all spiffy & Chevron-ed up.  I <3 it.]

And since I'm too lazy to type up a recipe I'll just pass on the goods that I've been given lately and tell you to check out www.coastal.com.  

No, I'm not one of those cool blogs where people pay you to write or anything, so there's no gimmick here or anything.  Cause if I'm not cooking, baking, or cleaning I'm looking for ways to save money!

But seriously.  I've gotten 2 FREE pairs of glasses from them & I love them both!

And by free, really the glasses and frames were free and all I paid for was $16 for S&H [to Hawaii!] and insurance on each pair.  Just a good deal people, I'm not gonna lie. 

If you've never ordered from them before just put in the code FIRSTPAIRFREE at checkout.

You have to pick from certain pairs, obviously, but there are tons of styles to pick from.  

I have a horribly bad prescription too, like I'm legally blind without my glasses, and I don't even pay for any of the thinner lenses and my glasses STILL look good.  Damn!

I also friended them on Facebook which is how I got a code for another free pair.

So yeah, I'm basically set for life.

Go enjoy people.  Enjoy life.  Enjoy free things.

I know I do.

[My newest pair!  Nerd glasses. 

 I had almost this exact same pair in high school.  They were not so cool back then.] 

Reject panic with praise. Replace worry with worship. Relieve anxiety with adoration. ♥

Reject panic with praise. Replace worry with worship. Relieve anxiety with adoration. ♥

I came across this the other day and fell in love with it immediately.  I have always been a person filled with panic, worry, & anxiety.  And it seems God can sense what I need and put these words in front of me.  I thought about them all last night and today during church, the last few days have been rough for me.  My body just feels tired, my mind almost feels like it's racing and blank at the same time and although nothing is really "wrong" something just doesn't feel right.

Ever since some bad things have happened in my life I can panic pretty easily.  That something is going to go wrong, what will I do, how will I take care of it, etc.  I feel like I've always been a pretty self sufficient person and even after almost 8 years of marriage my natural instinct of, I don't need anybody I can take care of myself, will fight it's way out.  I have a hard time genuinely trusting people because of the panic of when they will leave me, use or hurt me.  So I tried to take that panic and reject it, to believe in God's goodness and knowing HE will never leave me nor forsake me.  So today, I praised him.  I played drums for worship at church & I even sang today.  Drums are my thing, putting myself in the front so people can focus on me, are not.  So I closed my eyes and imagined I was playing for him, and I was.  And I know in front of God I will never be lacking.  Or maybe the truth, I will always be lacking, but for him I will always be enough.

Worry. Worry. Worry.

Bad things will happen in our lives, that is the way of a sinful world.  But what good comes from constant worrying?  I'm like most mothers, I worry about something bad happening to my children.  I worry about them when I'm away from them and I worry about the things I do effecting them in ways I hope it won't. I worry about our finances, about paying bills, about our car passing safety check.  There's not much I don't worry about but the relief lately has been letting that worry go.  It's natural to worry, but what can that change?  And the things I have never worried about were the things that came true, so maybe that was my unfortunate lesson that regardless of all the worrying in the world it won't change what is happening. So I have slowly learned to give those worries to God, along with all that panic and anxiety.  And yes, I still do worry but to worship Him does far better to my soul than all the worrying in the world.

Anxiety, ahh my arch nemesis.  The bane of my existence.  My own personal demon.

More than panic & worry combined is my anxiety.  Anxiety that I just might never get it right, that anything good that might happen is just a pre-cursor to the bad about to fall down around me.

Anxiety that combined with low self-esteem made for a pretty self hating teenage girl. 

Sometimes I yearn to take it all back, to trust God then like I do now.  To have always been able to put my worth in him, but that's just not how things work. And I can only be very, very, very thankful that I trust him now.  My anxiety still comes, and with it the devil brings his lies.  But now I can fight him, and not let myself believe maybe hurting myself would make it all better.  Or maybe just take away that pain for a little bit.  I adore God.  He is my salvation.  My peace. And wouldn't it be sweet to never have to panic & worry but for now, when I do, I will try my hardest to praise and worship Him instead.