Mommy needs a beer. For....Cheddar Beer Bread!

Ahh.....the lovely 6 weeks post partum mark.

When all of reality comes back to kick you in the neck and ask you,

"Why would you think another child is a good idea??!"

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my baby girl.  She is all that is good about babies, chunky, sweet, sleeps a lot, little dimpled smiles.  Sigh.  But oh yeah, the other three.

I am starting to feel delirious.  I thought before was bad.  Three kids and 8 months pregnant was chill!

Another diaper to change, another person to cloth before we leave the house.  Another person to please, and this little person is only pleased by one thing!  Boobies.  Which happen to be attached to me and make it near impossible to get anything else done.

[My idea of a good time!]

This isn't really supposed to be one of those pity me blogs, cause it's not.  I don't pity myself and in general I love my life, there's not much to pity.  I get to be with my kids all day, I get to go to school, drink Starbucks, go shopping at Target, eat dinner with my husband every night. I mean honestly I don't need much to be happy.  Or maybe it's the opposite?  

I don't need much, but I do need it to be my way.......

Anyways!  Life is hard right now, I'm not going to lie.  I feel like sometimes my blogs are TOO happy?

If that's a thing?  Or maybe that they're a little misleading.  You didn't REALLY think I had all my shit together did you?  Ha, I'm such a great illusionist.

I've also started following a bunch of people on Instagram that I don't know.  This might seem irrelevant but it's going somewhere, I promise.  I see all these beautiful Moms with platinum hair and red lips making their kids homemade bone broth and fresh squeezed orange juice popsicles [wtf?!] for lunch and it makes me feel grossly inadequate.  I know I shouldn't compare myself, and for a long time I was doing good on that one but lately I have just been feeling like I'm not enough.

[I did vote tho!  So that counts for something right? :]

I'm not a good enough Mother, I can't keep all four of my children quiet for an hour and a half church service while my husband plays music and I try to get someone to hold the babies while I go up and play drums.

I'm not a good enough Wife, I complain.  I nag.
I do things over because he didn't do them the way I would have.

I'm not a good enough friend, if you text me with a 911 message I might text you back.  Next week.

I'm not a good enough student, I do every assignment an hour before it's due so as I'm doing it there's an awesome red countdown system that makes me feel like I'm also going to pass out from anxiety.

I'm not patient enough.  I'm not soft enough.
I'm not ladylike enough.  I'm not thin enough.

I'm not crunchy enough.

The list could go on, but do I want it to?  

I need to come to understand that no, I will never be enough.  I will never be a perfect version of all those things because I will never be a perfect person.  But luckily I don't need to be.

My identity, although I'm working on it, should first and foremost be in God.  Which is why I think I've been thinking so much about how I'm not enough.  I have definitely not been faithful enough,  I haven't been praying enough, tithing enough, trying enough.

It is so easy to let God go, to fall from his grasp and to turn myself to the daily buzz of life.  Such a hard routine to get into, thinking about him everyday, praying, listening, making him a priority when my day feels like it can't possibly hold anymore. 

 I can feel myself slipping away, getting weaker, so I know what I need to do to not let this world get to me the way it has before and it's never too late to start again.

Luckily my God forgives and to Him I will always be enough.

And now of course, the food!
Made this Cheddar Beer Bread for Tulip's Baptism and it was a hit!
I love the edges where the cheese & butter meet and make delicious crispy heaven.  Yum.

Cheddar Beer Bread

3 cups AP Flour
2 tbs. Sugar
I tbs. Baking Powder
1 tsp. Salt
2 tbs. Honey
1 cup shredded Cheddar
1-12 oz. Bottle of Beer [I used Samuel Adams Pumpkin Harvest]
4-8 tbs. Butter [1/2-Whole Stick], melted.
*This depends on how buttery you want it, I used a whole stick and it was crazy good but REALLY buttery, I probably would do a half stick next time.

[1] In a stand mixer blend together all the dry ingredients.
[2] Using the dough hook add in your beer and honey and knead for 5 minutes or so. Add cheese and knead 1 more minute.
[3] Using a pastry brush pour half your melted butter into a loaf pan.  Make sure pan is completely greased.
[4] Pour dough into loaf pan & drizzle the rest of the butter on top.
[5] Bake for an hour at 350 degrees.  

The Nutella Chronicles: Nutella Swirled Banana Bread and Nutella filled mini donut muffins.

I am one of those people that grew up on Nutella.  I don't know how and I don't know where but we have always been a home with Nutella.  My Mom is a junk food junkie, not in a bad way [I love you Mom!] so this was just one of those things, her favorite way to eat it is with Walker's Shortbread cookies.  Sigh.

So I didn't go on a magical trip and discover it as an exotic treat, Nutella is a thing of memories & my childhood.  I hope my kids have those same memories. :) 

I bought a big 2 pack at Costco of the stuff a few weeks ago so I've basically been baking anything that has it, cause really why wouldn't you want a surplus of Nutella and baked goods?  

This is also my first lesson learned in blogging.  I found both of the recipes on Pinterest and like almost every recipe I make I tweaked it to fit what I thought would be better or for what I personally had on hand.  When I went to write this blog I hadn't pinned the exact recipes I used so I had to go through pages of recipes to try and find them so I could reference them here. Errr.  Ok blogging world, lesson learned.  I will start writing my recipes down!  There, you happy?

Nutella Swirled Banana Bread

adapted from www.barbarabakes.com

 

1 Cup mashed very ripe banana, about 3 medium bananas

1/2 cup brown sugar

1/2 plain Greek yogurt

1/4 cup butter, melted

2 eggs

2 cups AP flour

1 t. baking powder

1/2 t. baking soda

1/4 t. salt

1/2 cup Nutella

 

[1] Combine mashed banana, brown sugar, Greek yogurt, butter & eggs in a stand mixer and mix on medium until well blended.

[2] In a separate bowl whisk the flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt.

[3] Note: I made these into mini loaf pans, cause I had disposable ones and didn't want to clean up but you could use one big standard loaf pan here. It makes 4 mini loaves.

Slowly add flour mixture to wet mixture.  Mix until it just comes together.

[4] Grease pans, I make my own Pam type spray, and spoon batter into bottom.  About halfway up.

[5] Use about 1/8 cup of Nutella per pan, a little more won't hurt anybody.  Kind of layer the Nutella between two layers of batter and then put a big scoop on top.

[6] Use a butter knife or skewer to swirl the Nutella through the layers, I made the mistake of not swirling enough which gave my bread kind of a crispy Nutella top which I kind of liked.

[7] Bake at 350 degrees F, or 300 degrees if your using a Convection oven, which I am while my oven is out of order.  For about 35-40 minutes.

[8] Let cool on a rack, if you can wait that long!

Nutella filled Mini Donut Muffins

adapted from www.mochithoughts.com

 

   3/4 cup granulated sugar

1 egg 

1 1/2 cups AP flour

2 t. baking powder

1/4 t. salt

1/4 t. Nutmeg

1/4 cup Veggie Oil

3/4 cup low-fat milk

1 t. Vanilla 

Nutella for filling

 

[1]   In a large bowl whisk together sugar, egg, veggie oil, milk & vanilla.

[2] In another bowl whisk together dry ingredients, flour, baking powder, salt & Nutmeg.

[3] Whisk the dry ingredients into the wet until just combined.

[4] Grease a mini muffin pan with cooking spray and fill each one halfway.

[5] Using a teaspoon add a dollop of Nutella to each muffin.

[6] Cover Nutella with a little more batter each, try not to fill too high, I did and they came out ok but it could be a mess.

[7] Bake at 350 degree F for 12 minutes.

[8] When the muffins have cooled down for a few minutes run a butter knife along each edge.

Pop muffins out while they are still warm and then roll in cinnamon sugar! 

[1/4 cup sugar & 1 t. cinnamon]

Makes about 36 mini muffins.

Have a Nutella-licious day!