The end is near. End of 2012 that is. [Blueberry Velvet Cake]

I can't believe Christmas is in 15 days.

I can't believe this year is almost over.  It has been a crazy, exciting, growing, hard and wonderful year all at once.  We got pregnant with our 4th child.  We took a 3 week long road trip to the Pacific Northwest.  We moved across the ocean to Hawaii, again.  We almost broke up.  But we didn't.

We had our 4th child.  We grew stronger.  The kids grew older.  We grew up a little more.

We continued homeschooling.  We fell in love all over again. We moved for the 6th time since we've been married.  We celebrated our 8 year wedding anniversary.  I turned 28.  I let go of the past.  

I struggled to be the woman I want my daughters to be proud of.  I tried to learn patience.

I gave up on always being in control.  I baked, A LOT.  I prayed. 

 I missed old friends & made new ones.  

I laughed.  I laid on the beach while the kids played in the sand.  I hiked on a cliff overlooking the ocean.  I watched my children sleep.  I spent way too much money on Target & Starbucks.  I voted.

I stressed about everything.  I saw babies being born.  I had my first home birth.  I took pictures.

I wrapped presents.  I kissed my kids.  I forgave. 

[Gutierrez Family Christmas Card!  I'm pretty excited about it if you couldn't tell.]

This has been an exhausting, amazing year.  Parts of it I never thought I would make it through and I'm still amazed to see myself standing sometimes.  I know they say as you get older the faster time goes and I definitely get that now.  I can't believe it's been almost a year since we've been back in Hawaii.

Our house is finally starting to feel like our home, we've added another beautiful member to our family, I've gotten to experience things I never though I would.  Both good and bad.  Life is constantly changing and as much as that scares me sometimes I am just in awe. 

Where will we be a year from now?  What will God choose for us to do?  Will we listen?

I am constantly amazed by this journey of life and how it is always changing.
 I'm ready to live this life to the fullest and I can't wait to see what 2013 brings for us.  

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord.  Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you.

Plans to give you a hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

Now for the recipe!

This would be an awesome New Year's Eve cake.  It's just so pretty and definitely good for a special occasion.  I made it just cause I wanted to and ended up slowly eating the whole cake piece by piece because the kids refused to eat anything with actual fruit in it.  

And I wonder why I'm gaining weight?  Anyways......

Try it!  It's delicious and worth the work.

I didn't adapt this recipe at all and all of a sudden I'm dead tired.....

possibly cause it's 1 o'clock in the morning?  Eh. 

So, here is a link to this wonderful cake!  Enjoy.

http://www.iheartchocolatemilk.com/2012/06/07/blueberry-velvet-cake-with-cream-cheese-frosting/

When you know better, you do better. [Pumpkin Angel Food Cake w/Salted Caramel Glaze]

I am officially tired.  I feel horrible for even saying this but I am so done with this pregnancy.

Part of me is trying to cherish every last part, to remind myself this is PROBABLY my last baby and enjoy all the wonderful things that come with being pregnant.  Feeling her kick, how womanly I feel, getting away with wearing a bikini when there is no way in hell I would wear one otherwise.

[36 weeks, last Saturday at Haliewa Alii Beach Park]

But I'm just so tired.  My back hurts, my stomach feels stretched beyond belief.  I can't keep up with school, WIC appts., cleaning, and now a pissed off toddler with a sprained wrist.  I just want to cry most days, and take a nap.   Thank God for my wonderful husband who would let me do just that if I just asked, but alas Mommy guilt just won't let that happen.

Yesterday the family celebrated Labor Day by attending a birth rally in Waikiki.  The family that protests together, stays together right?  Just kidding.....it wasn't a protest just a call for health care to support evidence based maternity care instead of care based off of opinions and basically just the way "they've always done it." [If you want to know more check out www.improvingbirth.org] We had a great time getting to meet some awesome people in the birthing community here on Oahu.  I got to talk to other women about encapsulating my placenta, home birth, and ring slings without anyone batting an eyelash. 

National Rally for Change at Kapiolani Park

Lily might have gotten TOO into it.  She was shouting "Eat your placenta!" at cars while they drove by and when the cops came to check our permits she told Andy, "I would never talk to cops!"  Not quite sure where that anti-authority attitude came from....well maybe I can guess.   We did a prayer at the end saying what we were grateful for and I am really just grateful that my daughters will grow up not being afraid of childbirth, knowing pregnancy is a beautiful, natural and healthy thing.  Not an illness. 

Which is what I keep trying to remind myself.  

36 weeks + 3 days and it will all be over soon and I won't even know where the time went.

Although hopefully these weird pregnancy dreams will stop, I dreamt last night that I gave birth easily at home, baby's feet first [not likely.] But then I found out the baby was a boy and I was pretty pissed off about it and wouldn't even pick a name for him. 

 So I told Andy we better pick out a boy's name too just in case.  I hope I wouldn't be quite so melodramatic if that were to happen but when I told Andy this he was not so convinced.  Hmm. 

[Feels like it.]

Again this is one of the blogs spiraling into nowhere.  My Mommy brain feels like mush. 

Soon, soon this little girl will make her entrance and I'll remember what I knew all along.

It is worth it. <3

Side note:  Super excited, Fall is here!

Well pretty much as "here" as it's going to get.  It's still hot, there's no way I'm getting to wear any kind of scarf or Ugg boots but Hey, the Fall flavors are back at Starbucks and I'll take what I can get.

Along with my beloved Salted Caramel Mocha I'm definitely getting in the pumpkin mood!

Made mini Pumpkin muffins the other day and still had enough left for another recipe, so Pumpkin Angel Food Cake with Salted Caramel Glaze it is!

Next month is pumpkin patches, costumes && FOUR adorable kids to dress up!

I can't wait. 

Pumpkin Angel Food Cake

w/Salted Caramel Glaze

Pumpkin Angel Food Cake:

1 box Angel Food Cake mix

3/4 cup pureed pumpkin

1 1/2 tsp. Pumpkin Pie Spice

1 tbs. flour

1 cup water

[1] Put oven rack on lowest setting & preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

[2] In an electric mixer beat all ingredients together.

[3] Pour into an ungreased Angel Food cake [tube] pan.

[4] Bake for about 45 minutes until top is nice and brown.

[5] Let cool for 15 minutes then turn upside down onto a glass bottle and finish cooling for 2 hours.

Salted Caramel Glaze:

1/4 cup butter

1/4 cup sugar

1/4 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup heavy cream

1/2 tsp. cinnamon

1/2 tsp. sea salt

[1] In a small sauce pan melt butter and both sugars together.

[2] Whisk constantly while it comes to a boil and let cook for 2 minutes.

[3] Add heavy cream, continue whisking, cook for another 1 minute.

[4] Turn off heat and add cinnamon and salt.

[5] Let cool completely before pouring over cake.