I think a change will do you good.

At what point did my life change? How did I go from being the geeky punk girl to the Mom with four kids that enjoys a nice evening in pinning things for daughterʻs eighth donut party sleepover?  I feel like after the point of thirty itʻs kind of mandatory to have your shit together, or at least to understand your own self a little bit more.

But I donʻt even know.  Iʻm on my first "real" Summer break before school starts again in August, only real in the sense that I took two full-load semesters last year and beginning with the semester coming up I will be taking five classes a semester until I graduate.  While I thought Summer vacation would be some fantasy world full of free Starbucks and yoga on the beach- it feels almost worse then being in school.  I still canʻt catch up with the house, I still get frustrated with my kids, stress and real life are still the same I just donʻt have the excuse of homework anymore.  Ahh, where I made the mistake was believing that not going to school would reduce my anxiety level really it just adds on to my normal anxiety level which can never be lowered.  Ha.  Right.

So yeah, Iʻm working on it.  I thought that since I allegedly do have all this free time I no longer have the excuse not to blog either.  I love blogging, I just havenʻt figured out my "thing" yet.  Sounds about right.  I guess Iʻm willing to keep trying to figure it out.

I have done a lot more cooking and baking since being on break but I've been a bit lazy and weary to continue using social media to post my pictures first and then copy and paste them on to here.  Which is Iʻm sure the most rudimentary way to do that but like I said before, I really suck at anything computer related.  I just need to get back into writing and posting and etc. but for just this time instead Iʻll just give you a link for some awesome Apple Crumb muffins I made for my book club last week.  They were moist and everyone loved them even my fruit-hating son.

Enjoy and Aloha!

Glazed Apple Crumb Muffins

http://sallysbakingaddiction.com/2014/06/10/glazed-apple-crumb-muffins/

Instagram Anonymous. [Frosted Zucchini Brownies]

Hi, my name is Nicole and I am an Instagram addict.

[Which by the way if you want to follow me I'm under: nicolehopefully]

Ok, yes, I said it.  I admit it.  I know, I know.  I really, really, really, like Instagram, even more than Facebook [is that possible?]  I always have this guilt inside of me that maybe I'm the Mom that takes too many pictures?  That I can't just go do something without taking 500 pictures as proof that I did it.

And I think I'm guilty as charged.  

I've always been a picture taker, I took photography in high school, back in the day when we developed our film in a dark room in the pitch black hoping we would load the film right and the whole roll wasn't ruined.  My photography teacher finally had to tell me that not every assignment could be pictures of my, "druggie boyfriend" aka Andy.  Although why he thought Andy was a druggie I'll never know, maybe it was the fact that he was in a band, wore a beanie 24/7 & had long hair?

[I've also decided I'm just going to start using my own pictures for my blog instead of random graphics I find.  My blog is mostly for myself and I think it will be cooler to remember what we we're doing at different times than random memes I think are funny that day.  So here's Andy teaching a science experiment for our homeschool co-op the other day.  

I guess I never did listen to my photography teacher, sorry Mr. Allen!]

Besides photography class I would constantly take pictures with my little point & shoot cameras or disposables if those we're on hand.  I would use my allowance to develop rolls of film every week and the ladies at Rite-Aid would ask if I was ok if I missed a Friday developing my pictures.  I don't know why but I have always just loved pictures.  I'm a big memory person I guess, I love looking through old pictures and remembering how horrible I looked, or what we did on vacations, the fun we had that night, old pets that have since passed. [We love you Caboose!]

My room in high school was plastered in photo strips from the old photo booths that had developer in them, if you put your ear up to it you could hear the tray tipping back and forth.  Another thing that's long gone and if I wasn't feeling older before I definitely am now.  Come to think of it, I can't even remember the last time I developed a roll of film myself.  I loved making collages with pictures for the front of my binders and even tonight I just got done re-doing our fridge with all the new Halloween pictures we just took.

I have carted literally thousands of pictures across the ocean and back.  Reminisced about my brother's rat tail, of beach bonfires on the Central Coast, birthday parties where everyone has a drunken grin, pictures of the kid's as they've grown.  Of Andy & I in high school, my favorite of him drinking tequila out of my hair, oh I pray my children are nothing like us at that age! 

So sometimes when I wonder if I'm just going with the fad, if I just like Instagram cause it's popular and I want to be like the cool kids I remember myself as a not so cool kid taking pictures at punk shows, at funerals, and of the things we ate on road trips.  I've never been big on souvenirs, or buying little things to remind me of the places we've gone or the things we've seen but I do love pictures.  Of visits with our friends in Washington, of my Nani's gravestone when I can't visit her there, of my Grandma on Christmas with her 50 year old fur coat in 70 degree weather.  When I miss them they're here with me.

I'll never be a photographer, I'm not good enough at staging pictures, [even tho my cousin and I would hang bed sheets in our room and play "photo studio"] I always miss that perfect shot and I can barely use the auto setting on our awesome Nikon.  

But I promise you, wherever we go & whatever we do.....I will always be there taking pictures. 

Like this picture!

Yummy zucchini brownies I made for Halloween.  I have tried other zucchini brownie recipes and not loved them, made these the other night & they we're a hit!  The frosting is delicious and you seriously can't tell it has zucchini at all.  I will never make another brownie again.

Frosted Zucchini Brownies

[adapted from mommyimhungry.blogspot.com]

1/2 cup Coconut Oil

1 1/2 cups Sugar

2 tsps. Vanilla

2 cups Flour

1/2 cup Unsweetened Cocoa Powder

1 1/2 teaspoons Baking Soda

1 tsp. Salt

2 cups shredded Zucchini

1/2 cup chocolate chips 

Frosting:

2 cups Powdered Sugar

1/2 cup Whole Milk

1/4 cup butter

6 tbs. Unsweetened Cocoa Powder

1/2 tsp. Vanilla

[1] In a stand mixer beat together coconut oil & sugar.  When combined mix in vanilla.

[2] In a medium sized mixing bowl whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda & salt.

[3] Slowly add flour mixture to oil and sugar on low speed.  It will look crumbly and dry.

[4] With a spatula mix in zucchini and chocolate chips.  Stir well until there are no dry spots.

[5] Grease a 9x13 baking pan and set your oven for 350.

[6] Bake for 30-35 minutes until brownies spring back when touched. 

[7] Let brownies cool completely before frosting!

Frosting:

[1] In a medium sauce pan melt butter on medium low and whisk in cocoa powder. 

[2] Add powdered sugar, milk and vanilla and whisk until smooth.

[3] You can add more milk or powdered sugar depending on how thick you want your frosting. 

[4] Spread on brownies & enjoy!