The Pregnant Mommy Wall [w/Cheesy Chicken Jalapeno Bake]

The end is drawing near.  Just not near enough.

I've hit the pregnant Mommy wall.  And it's not even my due date yet.

Pregnant Mommy wall is kinda like what I imagine Runner's Wall is, since I don't run and have no intention to unless my life depended on it.  Some women hit that wall at 12 weeks, and you will hear ALL about it on their Facebook for the next 5 months.  Oh yes, lucky us. 

My back hurts and if not my back then my ribs or my head.  That might be from the other kids but who knows at this point?  People are starting to drive me [more] crazy than usual and Andy is doing more damage control than normal.  I really want to savor this last little bit of time, I really do, but I can't.

I'm just so grumpy.  So hot.  I feel like a roly-poly especially in the middle of the night when the thought of getting up to go to the bathroom sounds almost worst than peeing in the bed.

I'm so tired but I can't sleep. The baby feels so huge inside of me now that when she moves I literally feel elbows & knees poking out of my stomach.  Ahh, the joys of pregnancy.  As much as I complain about it all tho I am trying to hold onto that joy.  The same advice I would give to my expecting Mamas I'm trying to give myself, although I'm probably more stubborn than most of them and hate unwanted advice, even my own.

[39 weeks!]

I know in a week or two this will [most likely, please God let it be] over and these last few days will be just a blur of 3 kids instead of 4.  Of preparing for her instead of holding her.  Of feeling her stretch on the inside instead of little feet on the outside.  Pregnancy is such a short time and I know what a blessing it is that I CAN have healthy pregnancies.  I have lost babies in my lifetime and I never want to seem ungrateful for the lives we have been blessed with.  When all I want to do is complain I'm trying to remember all God has blessed me with.

The 3 beautiful faces I kiss everyday.
The 1 wonderful husband that is always there to hold my hand, and give me a shove when I need help getting out of bed.
The 2 little feet currently kicking the crap out of me from the inside.

As much as I complain I am thankful for it all.

And food!  I am so thankful for that.  I have become a ravenous beast towards the end of this pregnancy and have gained 18 pounds so far.  My inner low self-esteem teenage girl is trying not to shriek in terror and calm myself down knowing it is normal, healthy & good for the baby to gain weight.  With Lily I lost 15 pounds, with Jonas I lost 10 & with Oliver I think I gained 5 so I'm also getting a little paranoid that this is a monster little girl.

So I've been known to eat dinner.  Than a bowl of cereal & than 5 clementine oranges.
I can't be stopped.  I'm the bottomless pit!
I made this the other night and it's one of those things you just can't stop eating.
It was so good and easy.  Just one more thing to be thankful for.

Cheesy Chicken Jalapeno & Rice Bake.
[Also known as Murderous Mayan Mexican Bake,
since we've been watching a lot of Sons of Anarchy lately.]

2 cups rice [I used a mixture of white & brown but you probably could use either or]
2 cups [8 oz.] shredded Monterey Jack Cheese
2 Jalapenos diced small [We like stuff hot so do less if you don't!]
1 cup evaporated Milk
1/3 cup chopped Cilantro
1 1/2 cups cooked diced chicken [I used all white meat]
Salt & Pepper to taste
2 eggs, beaten
2 tbs. melted butter

[1] Preheat oven to 350 degrees & butter a 2 quart casserole dish.
[2] Mix all ingredients together in a bowl and pour into casserole dish.
[3] Bake for 50-60 minutes until a knife comes out clean.
[4] Enjoy!

I served this with tomato slices [for Andy] and tortilla chips, just for a crunch but it's fine without!

The Big 5-0! [60 Second Maple Brussel Sprouts]

I can't believe it!

This is already my 50th post. 

My brain is just all over the place right now that I don't even know where to begin or what to say.

  Life has been incredibly hectic lately.  I'm 37 weeks pregnant now, back in college for the first time in 8 years with my first test fast approaching.

I'm doula-ing for 2 Moms, one in the hospital right now actually and 1 being induced in the morning.

Last night I woke up at 3am drove to Mililani to pick up my friend and took her to Kaiser because her husband couldn't be there until later.  When us two VERY pregnant ladies walked into the ER I think the security guard had a mini panic attack. 

Friday, my Dad & Stepmom leave for Alaska and we will be baby-sitting my 7 younger brothers and sisters for 10 days.  Besides all that throw in Christmas Choir, home schooling co-ops, Healthy Marriages mentor program training, 3 kids and the list goes on.

Thank God for my husband.

Without him I would lose my shit daily instead of weekly. ;)

Although this blog doesn't seem to be headed this way I guess what I am TRYING to say is that I am grateful.  I am joyful.  At this point I don't know if I can say I'm too blessed to be stressed but I know it should be true.

And I am amazed.  I always read stories in the Bible or was told by Grandmothers & Sunday School teachers that "God answers prayers."  Sure he does.  Just not mine, right?

I realize this already isn't a Christian way of thinking, but I never said I was perfect.

I am human, I doubt, I don't trust, even in my God.  

Every night and day I would write in my prayer journal or say prayers with Andy regarding Tulip's birth.  I really didn't want to birth in a hospital this time, I got my hippie heart set on a home birth but of course since insurance wouldn't cover it it just didn't seem likely.  It bothered me, I didn't know what to do and honestly we couldn't really do anything but pray.  For God to show us what is right for our family.  And even at 36 weeks I wasn't really panicking that really, we had nothing figured out.

Then one of the Moms I met at the Birth Rally last week messaged me.  She told me I should message a midwife in Makaha who ran a birthing home.  So I did.  And God answered our prayers.

I met with her for the first time last week and she was just so kind and open to us.  She literally JUST opened her birth home a few weeks ago after moving from San Francisco.  Bay area represent!

If all goes well I will be the first person to deliver there.  She's already teaching me a little midwife stuff and finally at 37 weeks pregnant I feel ready for this little girl!

[The Turtle Cove behind my Midwife's house that I get to labor at.]

So now I get to be one of those people that walks around and says "God answers prayers" 

and even better, I actually believe it. <3

And now for food!  

Brussel Sprouts are one of my favorite veggies and my Midwife even told me I needed to eat more! 

So I'm trying.  It helps when I cook yummy things and even better if they're fast, easy, & tasty.

60 Second Maple Brussel Sprouts

Brussel Sprouts

Maple Syrup

Salt 

Pepper

Olive Oil

[1] Cut the stems off your brussel sprouts and thinly slice.

[2] In a pan over medium high heat, add olive oil.

[3] Add your brussel sprouts and season with salt & pepper to taste.

[4] Cook about 60 seconds until sprouts are just wilted and soft.  

[5] Add 1 tbs. of Maple Syrup and done!

This is a super easy recipe to adjust bigger or smaller, that's why I didn't do too many measurements.

I only made about 1/2 lb. so I added less than a tbs. of Maple Syrup.  

Like anything in cooking, taste as you go! 

A full plate is bound to break.

I've been starting to feel overwhelmed again lately.  God has been so good to us with Andy's new job and the time it gives us to spend together and pursue some things on our own has been amazing if not a kind of new concept.  So, at 7 months pregnant with our 4th child it yet again, feels like a new beginning.  We've just gotten ourselves mostly settled here, about 6 months in and we're TECHNICALLY unpacked while still moving things around, trying to find cheap furniture on Craigslist & finishing walls.......

So I guess I just feel the need to change things up,  I used to [ok, maybe still do] want knuckle tattoos that say "restless."  I just can't seem to stay still and we as a family seem destined for a semi-nomadic life.  Going wherever the wind & God takes us, which is ok by me!  

So I decided to become a college student again.  It's been almost 8 years since I have been in school, and it shocks me that time could pass that quickly.  When I went before it always seemed like a battle between school & work, of which I didn't have enough time for both.  Now I don't have time to go to the bathroom by myself so I'm once again reminded of the ridiculousness of my youth.  And while I have always loved learning doing it without a goal in mind made it hard for me to focus. 

I go back August 20th!  Because of my out of state resident status [errr!] And quite possibly because I will have a newborn baby along with a 6, 4, & 1 year old I decided just to take 1 class this semester.  I am so excited to go back while having a hard time struggling with the fact that somehow it feels selfish?  Maybe, because the past 8 years all I've known is being a wife & mother, and sometimes a Starbucks employee.  To take anything from my family makes me think that I'm not giving them enough.  But I have to remember that this is now my enough, that I love them enough to better myself.

So along with school & being pregnant I also signed up to host The Big Latch On this year to promote breastfeeding awareness and have two doula/birth photography clients both due the same month as me. It will be interesting to see how that all works out!  If I can complete the 2 births before I give birth I hope to be able to send in my DONA certification paperwork by January!

 So I pray for God's strength, my own discernment, and a wonderful husband to help get me to the end of this year!  

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" 

[Matthew 11:28]

And since I've been slacking on recipes, and I live in the great state of Hawaii I bring you a recipe for...

Cast-Iron Pineapple Upside Down Cake!

adapted from www.bigmamashomekitchen.com

Make this whenever you're in the need for a tropical getaway.  And no matter how bad for you I know they are I just can't resist Maraschino cherries.  They just taste fake but they are strangely addictive to me.  When I order drinks at bars, or Shirley Temples when I'm pregnant, I always ask for extra of these.  Ooh....red dye #40 you so tasty.

Cake:

2 Eggs

2/3 cup Sugar

1/4 cup Pineapple Juice

1 tsp. Almond Extract

2/3 cup AP flour

1 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. Sea Salt

Topping:

1/4 cup butter [1/2 stick or 4 tbs.]

2/3 cup brown sugar

1 20 oz. can Pineapple Chunks

8 Maraschino Cherries

Use a 10-inch cast iron.  The batter won't look like its enough, but it is! 

[1] In the cast iron pan on medium-low heat cook the butter & brown sugar together for about 3 minutes or until it starts looking caramel-y.  It's better to underdo it than over do it, like I did the first time, cause it will cook more in the oven.

[2] Drain the pineapple chunks [reserving the juice for the batter] and add pineapple to pan. 

[3] Cook for another minute or two spreading pineapple evenly on bottom, put the cherries wherever you want in the pan. 

[3] In a stand mixer beat eggs, white sugar, pineapple juice & almond extract.  

[4] In a separate bowl sift together flour, baking powder & salt. 

[5] Add to the mixer and beat until batter is smooth.

[5] Pour batter on top of pineapple mixture and bake at 350 degrees F for 25 minutes.

Let cool & then invert!