The Birth of Tulip Bea.

Oh my little Tulip Bea.  

This is my hardest birth story to writet by far, because I just don't know where to begin?

I guess I'll start from what I consider the beginning of labor.  

For at least a few weeks before she was born I started getting pretty consistent contractions.  I would have them for 10 hours straight about 10 minutes apart and then I would just go to sleep or take a shower and they would stop.  The contractions weren't painful, just uncomfortable at the most because I could definitely feel them happening.  

On September 26th I had a midwife appt. and at this point had already been having pretty regular contractions on and off.  My beautiful, awesome, amazing midwife, Selena, checked me and let me know I probably had at least another week.  Not exactly what I wanted to hear but I was ok with it.

For the next week anytime I started having contractions I would do anything I could to get them to turn into "real" labor.  Walking up and down flights of stairs, rubbing my belly with Clary Sage oil, bouncing on my birthing ball, etc. etc.

[One of my last belly pictures.  Obviously things weren't too intense at this point.]

Wednesday the 3rd we went back for another check up and I was 4 cm dilated!  Woo!

I was amazed because with all my other labors I didn't dilate until I was in active labor.  But at this point I still hadn't felt much.  I was 4 cm, 70% effaced and baby was at 0 station.  Hanging out waiting to drop.  Selena let me go home but told me to keep checking in and come back if my water broke because her home in Makaha is about 40 minutes away without traffic, at least an hour and thirty during rush hour and as a 4th time Mom labor could come on quicker than I might expect.  She also did a cervical massage and had me drink Black/Blue Cohosh in attempts to get the contractions going.

Note: Black & Blue Cohosh is disgusting!

Went back home and had another 7-8 hours of contractions.  They still weren't painful so I decided to try and sleep in case labor started soon.  Woke up through the night, lost my mucus plug and then nothing.  The next morning Selena wanted me to come back just in case again.

I took my 2nd Human Development test [got a B!] packed up the car, left the kids with my Stepmom and we headed back to Makaha.  With of course a quick stop at Target to shop and pick up ingredients for Sinigang Soup.

We got to Makaha around 2:30 and she checked me again, 

I was 90% effaced, baby at +1 & 9 cm dilated! 

And then the wait began.  More waiting.  After a check 6 hours later nothing had changed and I still wasn't feeling any pain.  Andy & I walked down to the Turtle Cove and relaxed, checked out the tide pools, messed around with some turtles and hermit crabs and then headed back to the house.

At this point Selena wanted me to stay and I agreed, I was close enough [I hoped!] that going back to Waipahu wasn't a good idea.  More cervical massage, walked up and down the stairs, bounced on the ball, MORE Black & Blue Cohosh, and Andy cooked a big pot of Sinigang Soup for everyone to share.

[Laboring by the sea at the Turtle Cove behind my midwife's house.]

Finally around 10pm I gave in again and decided just to rest.  I had gotten in and out of the birthing tub a few times to try it out but because labor was taking so long it kept cooling down to a lukewarm, icky feeling [to me] temperature so I didn't like it as much as I was anticipating.

Fell asleep and woke up around 1:30 when Grace, my midwife asst./doula, was doing some fetal heart checks.  Started feeling contractions a little at this point and they seemed like they MIGHT be getting stronger so I decided to stay awake and see what happened.  

Took a hot bath, which made my contractions stop completely so I got out.  Around 3:30am I FINALLY started feeling them!  At this point I was so tired of waiting and wondering and somehow even doubting that this baby would ever come out that I was glad to be feeling something! 

Around 4:30 the contractions started getting to the unbearable point and I asked to be checked so I could gauge how much time I thought I might have left.  Surprise, it was time to push!  Heck yeah.

The first few pushes felt awesome as opposed to the pain of contractions but for some reason the contractions after that were excruciating.  At this point I was super tired after 3 days of not much sleep and despite me thinking I would want to be in the tub or in a different position the most comfortable thing for me was laying down propped up on pillows.

[Our newest squishy.  Sweetheart Tulip Bea. <3]

My midwife was super calming and gentle and I had a great support system with Grace and Andy reassuring me that I could do it when I was literally screaming that I couldn't do it anymore.

I pushed opposite of my contractions for awhile because it was the only thing I could do and I pushed when I felt like it, I got to watch in the mirror and could see Tulip making her way down.

At this point my water still hadn't broken and we were wondering if we might get one of those cool babies born in the caul.  The next contraction I was able to push with and my water bag popped and Andy & Selena were quick enough to jump out of the way!

A few pushes after that she was crowning and I could definitely feel this little girl had a big head!  

Selena tried to slow me down but at this point I wasn't in the mood to listen to anybody and pushed anyways.  Tulip came out with her hand next to her face [nuchal hand] which I have now researched can "cause intense pain."  Sounds about right.  

Born right into her Daddy's arms. <3

[Just born. <3]

She was born at 5:19am on October 5th, 2012.

8 lbs. 2 oz. 18 inches long.

Our little pumpkin.  Our shortest and chubbiest baby yet!

I don't know if your labor and birth have anything to do with a baby's personality but Tulip Bea is definitely a sweetheart.  She had a gentle slow calm journey into this world and is such a peaceful baby.

Her name definitely suits her, she is our Forgiveness baby, reminding us we all need forgiveness.

Bea means blessed & she who brings happiness.  She is such a blessing to us and I cannot stop kissing her fat little cheeks.

I am so thankful for the way she was brought into this world, that I had such a safe and comforting place to give birth.  That I had such supportive people with me for the end of this pregnancy journey and I'm still just amazed at all of it. 

The Big 5-0! [60 Second Maple Brussel Sprouts]

I can't believe it!

This is already my 50th post. 

My brain is just all over the place right now that I don't even know where to begin or what to say.

  Life has been incredibly hectic lately.  I'm 37 weeks pregnant now, back in college for the first time in 8 years with my first test fast approaching.

I'm doula-ing for 2 Moms, one in the hospital right now actually and 1 being induced in the morning.

Last night I woke up at 3am drove to Mililani to pick up my friend and took her to Kaiser because her husband couldn't be there until later.  When us two VERY pregnant ladies walked into the ER I think the security guard had a mini panic attack. 

Friday, my Dad & Stepmom leave for Alaska and we will be baby-sitting my 7 younger brothers and sisters for 10 days.  Besides all that throw in Christmas Choir, home schooling co-ops, Healthy Marriages mentor program training, 3 kids and the list goes on.

Thank God for my husband.

Without him I would lose my shit daily instead of weekly. ;)

Although this blog doesn't seem to be headed this way I guess what I am TRYING to say is that I am grateful.  I am joyful.  At this point I don't know if I can say I'm too blessed to be stressed but I know it should be true.

And I am amazed.  I always read stories in the Bible or was told by Grandmothers & Sunday School teachers that "God answers prayers."  Sure he does.  Just not mine, right?

I realize this already isn't a Christian way of thinking, but I never said I was perfect.

I am human, I doubt, I don't trust, even in my God.  

Every night and day I would write in my prayer journal or say prayers with Andy regarding Tulip's birth.  I really didn't want to birth in a hospital this time, I got my hippie heart set on a home birth but of course since insurance wouldn't cover it it just didn't seem likely.  It bothered me, I didn't know what to do and honestly we couldn't really do anything but pray.  For God to show us what is right for our family.  And even at 36 weeks I wasn't really panicking that really, we had nothing figured out.

Then one of the Moms I met at the Birth Rally last week messaged me.  She told me I should message a midwife in Makaha who ran a birthing home.  So I did.  And God answered our prayers.

I met with her for the first time last week and she was just so kind and open to us.  She literally JUST opened her birth home a few weeks ago after moving from San Francisco.  Bay area represent!

If all goes well I will be the first person to deliver there.  She's already teaching me a little midwife stuff and finally at 37 weeks pregnant I feel ready for this little girl!

[The Turtle Cove behind my Midwife's house that I get to labor at.]

So now I get to be one of those people that walks around and says "God answers prayers" 

and even better, I actually believe it. <3

And now for food!  

Brussel Sprouts are one of my favorite veggies and my Midwife even told me I needed to eat more! 

So I'm trying.  It helps when I cook yummy things and even better if they're fast, easy, & tasty.

60 Second Maple Brussel Sprouts

Brussel Sprouts

Maple Syrup

Salt 

Pepper

Olive Oil

[1] Cut the stems off your brussel sprouts and thinly slice.

[2] In a pan over medium high heat, add olive oil.

[3] Add your brussel sprouts and season with salt & pepper to taste.

[4] Cook about 60 seconds until sprouts are just wilted and soft.  

[5] Add 1 tbs. of Maple Syrup and done!

This is a super easy recipe to adjust bigger or smaller, that's why I didn't do too many measurements.

I only made about 1/2 lb. so I added less than a tbs. of Maple Syrup.  

Like anything in cooking, taste as you go! 

Vistorus Interruptus.

As much as I hate to admit it I am a creature of habit.  

I like to wake up every morning, enjoy my coffee, check my Facebook and slowly ease into my day.

Get my burst of energy by the time Andy gets home from work to start cleaning & doing school with the kids, etc.  Everyday may not be the same but most start with coffee and end with me snuggling with my love in bed.   

Having my Mom & sister here visiting from California is so awesome but it definitely throws off my Mama schedule and makes me let things go I might not usually be able to.  And while sometimes that is hard for my Type A personality it definitely does make things seem even more organized when I get back to it. So after a week or so of not blogging I actually missed it!  But time is short so I'll do my favorite type of writing, a list.  

My [current] life in numbers.

[20] minutes until I hope to be in bed. 

[19] the age my sister Jordan turned today!

[18] days till my first Hawaii doula client is due.  

[17] the age my sister Sierra turned today!

[16] my stupidest age, so far & hopefully ever.

[15] pounds I have gained this pregnancy.

[14] days until I start school again.

[13] pages of Fifty Shades Freed I've read.  I give up, I'm over it. 

[12] ingredients in the recipe below.

[11] babies latched on at The Big Latch-On West Oahu I hosted on Friday! 

[10] years I have been with the love of my life. 

[9] years until I am a midwife!  I hope. 

[8] weeks left in this pregnancy! Give or take a little.....

[7] months we have been back in Hawaii.

[6] tattoos I have.  For now.

[5] strawberry shortcakes I made for dessert tonight. 

[4] days left until my baby shower!  Yeay! 

[3] kids I have, for just a little bit longer. 

[2] notifications I have on Facebook, last time I checked.

[1] God I love! 

And by popular demand......

Homemade Jumbo Nutter Butters! 

from www.cookiesandcups.com

Cookies: 

1 cup butter, room temperature

1 cup creamy peanut butter

1 cup sugar

1 cup light brown sugar, packed

2 eggs

2 tsp. Vanilla

2 1/2 cups AP flour

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. baking powder

1/2 cup extra sugar for rolling

Filling:

1 cup butter, room temperature

1 cup creamy peanut butter

4 cups powdered sugar

1 tbs. milk

For cookies:

[1] Cream butter, peanut butter & sugar in a stand mixer.

[2] Add eggs one at a time & then vanilla.

[3] In a medium bowl whisk together flour, baking soda & baking powder.

[4] Slowly add dry mixture to wet in mixer, try not to over mix!

[5] When dough has come together roll into 1-inch balls and then form your balls into logs.  Ha. 

[6] Roll logs in sugar and place on ungreased baking sheet.  Keep them spread apart cause they get big!

[7] With a fork make a criss cross pattern on top of each log, while you're doing this pinch the log in the middle so it makes a peanut shape.  Very good. 

[8] Bake at 375 degrees F for about 10 minutes.

[9] Let cool on a rack while you make your filling!

For filling:

[1] Cream butter & peanut butter.

[2] Slowly add powdered sugar.

[3] Check consistency and add milk if you like, may take a little more or less or none at all. 

[1] Spread filling between two cookies & chow down!

Nutter Butter time! 

A full plate is bound to break.

I've been starting to feel overwhelmed again lately.  God has been so good to us with Andy's new job and the time it gives us to spend together and pursue some things on our own has been amazing if not a kind of new concept.  So, at 7 months pregnant with our 4th child it yet again, feels like a new beginning.  We've just gotten ourselves mostly settled here, about 6 months in and we're TECHNICALLY unpacked while still moving things around, trying to find cheap furniture on Craigslist & finishing walls.......

So I guess I just feel the need to change things up,  I used to [ok, maybe still do] want knuckle tattoos that say "restless."  I just can't seem to stay still and we as a family seem destined for a semi-nomadic life.  Going wherever the wind & God takes us, which is ok by me!  

So I decided to become a college student again.  It's been almost 8 years since I have been in school, and it shocks me that time could pass that quickly.  When I went before it always seemed like a battle between school & work, of which I didn't have enough time for both.  Now I don't have time to go to the bathroom by myself so I'm once again reminded of the ridiculousness of my youth.  And while I have always loved learning doing it without a goal in mind made it hard for me to focus. 

I go back August 20th!  Because of my out of state resident status [errr!] And quite possibly because I will have a newborn baby along with a 6, 4, & 1 year old I decided just to take 1 class this semester.  I am so excited to go back while having a hard time struggling with the fact that somehow it feels selfish?  Maybe, because the past 8 years all I've known is being a wife & mother, and sometimes a Starbucks employee.  To take anything from my family makes me think that I'm not giving them enough.  But I have to remember that this is now my enough, that I love them enough to better myself.

So along with school & being pregnant I also signed up to host The Big Latch On this year to promote breastfeeding awareness and have two doula/birth photography clients both due the same month as me. It will be interesting to see how that all works out!  If I can complete the 2 births before I give birth I hope to be able to send in my DONA certification paperwork by January!

 So I pray for God's strength, my own discernment, and a wonderful husband to help get me to the end of this year!  

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest" 

[Matthew 11:28]

And since I've been slacking on recipes, and I live in the great state of Hawaii I bring you a recipe for...

Cast-Iron Pineapple Upside Down Cake!

adapted from www.bigmamashomekitchen.com

Make this whenever you're in the need for a tropical getaway.  And no matter how bad for you I know they are I just can't resist Maraschino cherries.  They just taste fake but they are strangely addictive to me.  When I order drinks at bars, or Shirley Temples when I'm pregnant, I always ask for extra of these.  Ooh....red dye #40 you so tasty.

Cake:

2 Eggs

2/3 cup Sugar

1/4 cup Pineapple Juice

1 tsp. Almond Extract

2/3 cup AP flour

1 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. Sea Salt

Topping:

1/4 cup butter [1/2 stick or 4 tbs.]

2/3 cup brown sugar

1 20 oz. can Pineapple Chunks

8 Maraschino Cherries

Use a 10-inch cast iron.  The batter won't look like its enough, but it is! 

[1] In the cast iron pan on medium-low heat cook the butter & brown sugar together for about 3 minutes or until it starts looking caramel-y.  It's better to underdo it than over do it, like I did the first time, cause it will cook more in the oven.

[2] Drain the pineapple chunks [reserving the juice for the batter] and add pineapple to pan. 

[3] Cook for another minute or two spreading pineapple evenly on bottom, put the cherries wherever you want in the pan. 

[3] In a stand mixer beat eggs, white sugar, pineapple juice & almond extract.  

[4] In a separate bowl sift together flour, baking powder & salt. 

[5] Add to the mixer and beat until batter is smooth.

[5] Pour batter on top of pineapple mixture and bake at 350 degrees F for 25 minutes.

Let cool & then invert!