Woke up this morning having horrible round ligament pains, basically just a crappy pain in your stomach that you get when your pregnant. And lucky for me, or not, the more pregnancies the worse they hurt and the more often you get them.
So anyways.....I got out of bed long enough to make the Terrible Three waffles and crawled right back in to see if I could wait out the pain. Surfing around on the iPad and I came across this article in The Huffington Post:
The author tells about why she believes marriage should be illegal until the age of 25.
Basically, she got married when she was 24 because she felt like "it was thing thing to do" and at the age of 29 is now divorced.
Argh! Are you kidding me?! Usually I can blow off something like this or just rant to Andy about it but it just bothered me. She continues to go on about how 20-25 is about finding yourself, and this is done apparently by drinking a lot and going to parties to put yourself in bad situations.
I got married when I was 20. Was I ready? No. Was it the smartest idea? Probably not. But I don't have a problem admitting that because there is no shame in WORKING HARD for something. In the almost 8 years we have been married, and over 10 we have been together we have faced a lot of heartache. We do not have a perfect relationship or claim to, and we are finding out more and more together how much we need to have God in our marriage to make it work.
If you focus on your wedding day more than your marriage that's probably not the best idea. Our wedding day was NOT the best day of my life, I was stressed, pissed and being told by everyone else what I needed to do. But to say drinking and partying is the way to finding yourself, which of course you do by the time you're 25, cause we all have our shit together by then right? Is ridiculous.
I am still finding myself. Learning to be the woman, wife & mother that God is calling me to be.
And for me, I need my husband there by my side. If I had waited until 25 to get married I possibly would not be married to the man I am today, it is much easier to break a pinky promise than a sacrament. There have been times when I have wanted to walk away, to give up and "find myself" but I know my identity is not IN my husband but WITH him.
We both have so much to learn but I would never want to do it without him and without him I would not be the woman I am today.
So go ahead and say marriage should be illegal until age 25, but age is not some magic number of getting all the partying out of your system, of growing up all of a sudden, of being able to make a commitment. Marriage is something that is work, a constant evolving, sacrifice, compromise and commitment to love even when you don't feel like you can. And there is no age you can place on that.
[Our wedding day. 11.20.2004]
Tyler and I got together when I was 20...I've spent the best "partying" years of my life with him...and we did just that...PARTY.
ReplyDeleteWhile single friends of mine never understood why we wouldn't go out without each other...it wasn't a matter of jealousy...or that he "wouldn't let me go out alone" - it was because we have fun together.
Our relationship is no where near being perfect...no relationship is. If you say you do...you're never going to know real love, sacrifice or what is it to be happy. I am a firm believer in talking, talking about love, talking about being sad, arguing, it's all good for your soul and your relationship.
I found myself with Tyler...I wouldn't be who I am today without him...<3
I think the basis is that, you have to be willing to work for your relationship. Everyone has a different time line on how they want to do things and it's no one's business but yours, to act like once you hit 25 you're magically a different person that can make mature decisions is bullshit.
ReplyDeleteAt the age of 28 after having 3 kids I have been through enough shit in this life that I FINALLY feel like I'm finding myself, and I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing.
I went to a Mom's Night Out last night and the wives we're talking about how annoying it is that their husbands want to go out with them once a week and how it's so boring, blah blah blah.
Even during our hardest times there is no one I would rather be with. I think you and Tyler are perfect together, that might sound dumb but the fact that you can do anything together is always a good sign and I've seen him defend you like a champ on FB for something and I was like, damn that's a good guy. ;)