5 Things I miss about California. & 5 Things I don't.

5 Things I miss about California, and 5 Things I do not. 

I miss.

1.  Being close to almost all of my family.  Having my Mom & some of my siblings in the same town as me.  Family dinners on a whim, the kids being able to see my Grandma.  Helping out, family gatherings, BBQs around the fire pit in our backyard.  Coffee and shopping trips with my little sister.  My kids growing up with their cousins. The free baby-sitting.  Oh, the free baby-sitting. 

2.  The food.  In & Out. Chipotle. Not to mention all the places that are particular to Stockton.  Good sushi at Co Co Ro, fried chicken from Manny's California Fresh.  Oh the list could just go on and on.  Being pregnant just makes me want all the good food that much more.  I would kill for a carnitas taco plate from Tepa Taquiera right about now, well maybe not kill.....but stab for sure.

3. Road trips.  There was SPACE!  Lots of it!  True, some places were far.  But we always loved a weekend of packing our van to the brim and going where the wind blew us.  Down the 1 to visit family in Pismo Beach or a little further down to the Santa Monica Pier.  Stopping at rest stops to run around and enjoy being together in our own little contained unit.  Nothing but wind in our hair, good music on the stereo, the sounds of kids arguing in the backseat, sunglasses and the knowledge that we still have hours to go.  Ahhh, my version of peace. 

4. My best friends.  Two women that will forever impact my life.  That taught me what REAL friendship was, after 27 years of living, to have two people show me THIS is what friendship is.  Not someone using me for their benefit, lying to me, back stabbing or generally acting as if all of life is a shitty fucked up high school experience. [Can you tell I didn't like high school?]  Who I rarely get to talk to now with an ocean between us but I know I could call them at anytime with anything and they would be there, listen without wanting, love without judging.  

5. Seasons.  I love anticipating each season as it comes.  Except maybe Summer in the Valley, ok especially not summer in the Valley.  But feeling those first breezes of Spring, opening up all the windows in our house and soaking it all in.  Or when the leaves first turn colors and the air turns crisp.  Each season bringing new things.  Apple Hill in the fall,  Christmas tree farms in the Winter.  Cherry Festivals in the Spring.  I miss it all. 

I do not miss.

1. The violence.  Coming from Stockton didn't scare me.  I wasn't afraid to walk down the street, to play with my kids in the front yard, to go to the movies at night.  Until people started getting shot everyday, for anything, pretty much anywhere.  I'm not a very paranoid person but I did start getting worried that a stray bullet might find me on a bad day.  Scary crap. 

2. The bad attitudes.  Something about people there gave off an air of entitlement.   I know this is a generalization and not meant to be but it kind of got old hearing people complain about how their welfare was cut or they don't have enough money but they were able to sell their food stamps cause they just "have to have their nails done every month."  I'm sure it happens here too, I just don't have to hear about it.  So that helps.

3. The obsession with looks.  Here in Hawaii you will see some big girls in bikinis.  I don't mean that disrespectfully.  I consider myself a bigger girl, but here big girls ARE beautiful.  Not just hypothetically in a song but really.  People are proud of their bodies, or simply just don't care what you think.  That is a refreshing idea.  When we lived here before and I was about 40 pounds heavier and 9 months pregnant I felt perfectly fine going outside to get my mail in a sports bra and shorts because I wasn't afraid of some asshole driving by yelling "fat ass" out there window like they had done to me in Stockton, while I was pumping gas.  Seriously?

4. Black Widows and Snakes.  We just don't have those here.  Oh yes!  It's nice not to think "There's a spider in my house, maybe it will bite me in my sleep and I'll die.  I guess we'll see." 

5. Running into people you know.  Some people might like this, might like reminiscing, talking about the good old days or other such tom foolery.  Not me, I would prefer not to see you unless I make a point to see you.  Most of the times it's just an awkward hello, like "Oh, hi, yeah I used to know you a long time ago but now I really could care less about what you're doing."  It just takes the ease out of that knowing I most likely won't see anyone I know.  Just because we both never left our hometown doesn't mean we have something in common.  It's especially nice when there are people I know if I saw I might have to practice my anger management more than I have worked on so far, so I just might rip their throat out.  Maybe.