Relax is a four letter word.

Today I had an argument with my husband I've probably had at least 10, 20, 50 [??] times since the past 10 years we've been together. 

 And that is in my inability to relax I make everyone else feel like they can't either. 

And darn it, I hate to be wrong.  I really, really do.  But I do know this is a problem, I would love to relax!  I see other Moms that can watch a TV show in the middle of the day without getting up halfway through because they feel guilty that there are dirty dishes in the sink and the kids are just laying around.  But maybe it's a sign that I'm just not letting go enough, keeping God in control and just enjoying the blessings he has been so gracious as to give me.  My children, my husband, our time together.  We have worked hard to have a schedule in which we get that ever precious commodity that just seems so hard to come by, time.  And do I really want to throw it away stressing about every thing that still won't get done?  

No, I know the answer but it's figuring out how to make my brain understand it as well. 

We learned recently at one of our marriage classes that men have a "Nothing Box."  Seriously.  Where they can just tune out and think of just that, nothing.  I have no grasp of that concept. 

I feel like 5 minutes in my brain is just a constant stream of what I am doing, need to be doing, just did, should be doing, or didn't have enough time to do yesterday.  And it shouldn't be that.  5 minutes in my mind should be praise, worship, adoration, thankfulness for all God has given me.  I will never have a perfect home, perfect children, or be perfect.  I don't aspire to be.  But I do aspire to be able to let go of the mess, to sit with my kids in the midst of piles of laundry and read books.  To be able to laugh with them at the mess we made in the kitchen instead of thinking about how tiring it will be to clean it all up.

So I'll keep trying.  Keep praying for God to grant me his grace once again.  

To continue to let go for the sake of those who love me, and for myself.

  To love myself enough to make it happen.  

That being said....I refilled all my Febreeze bottles today.  I have a slight obsession with Febreeze but that stuff can get pricey!  And I'm not willing to give up the freshness of Febreeze.  Especially not with a semi-potty training toddler running around.  Found a few different recipes on-line and kind of tweaked them to make the one I like best!  For now anyways. 

Home Made Febreeze

[About 25 cents a bottle compared to $5.00!]

This mixture fills up a 32 oz. bottle.

So if you have smaller ones, like I do, just halve it.

1/8 cup white vinegar

1/8 cup of your favorite fabric softener, I used what was on sale.

1 tbs. baking soda

1-2 drops Lavender Essential Oil, only if you want a Lavender smell.

Hot Tap Water

[1] Pour all your ingredients into the bottle.

[2] Fill with hot tap water.

[3] Shake & spray! 

Kid Quip of the Day:

On Sunday at church during communion.

Lily: Did they just say drink his blood?!?!

Me: Yeah, but it's Jesus' blood.

Lily: Oh ok, I'll do it for him.